Chili and the French*

Fig. 1. The French do not know how to spell "Chile."

Just because it’s delicious. You do not have to wait until a snow day.

Downtown Denver Chili,
or,
Ranchero Miso Chili

a fast, lean, mild and gluten-free ¹ chili which can be inhaled in large quantities and multiplied at will.

three hearty servings, although even a modest serving is filling.

The Things You Will Need:

• 1 tblspn oil of your choice (i use bacon drippings… of course.)
   
• 1/2 lb lean ground grass-fed chuck PLUS
• 1/2 lb ground grassfed colorado lamb or mutton
  (*many people are not aware that colorado produces some of the best lamb and mutton known to mankind, in addition to our far-famed beef. the spring lamb is mildest in taste; use mutton if you want a stronger flavor.)
   
• 1 medium organic yellow onion, diced
   
• 6 cloves garlic roughly chopped
   
• 16 oz chili beans, with their liquid
   
• 1 6 oz can organic tomato paste PLUS
• 1 large ripe beefsteak tomato, diced (or, 1 can whole tomatoes)
   
• 1 tblsp aka miso PLUS
• 1 tblsp dark brown rice miso (don’t use barley miso for this unless you’re unconcerned about gluten content.)
  (*many people are also not aware that many Denverites of long-established family, like the Arakawas and the Sakatas, among many others, are actually ethnically japanese, or at least hapa – in fact, during the midwar years, Denver was considered the unofficial Japanese capital of the United States, ² though that title was usurped by Chicago during the later war years. you can get high-quality miso in bulk at Pacific Mercantile, in Sakura Square, or you can get small portion containers at Whole Foods. )
   
• 1 tblspn natural unsweetened cocoa powder PLUS
• 1 tspn cinnamon
  (*you may substitute one wedge of Abuelita or Ibarra for the chocolate and cinnamon, if you must, but be aware of the sugar content.
  **hey look! you get to use your molinillo! actually, anytime you deal with miso is a great time for your molinillo, if you have one. and if you don’t have one, you should get one. )
   
• 2 tblspn chili powder – preferably mild or medium molido polvo puro – or to taste
   
• 1/2 cup black coffee. no sugar!
   
• 2 to 3 tblspn cumin or to taste
   
• approximately 1/2 of one ancho or poblano chile pepper… or to taste.
   
• 1 dash tabasco
   
• 1 tblspn apple cider, blood orange, or other fruit vinegar
   
• 4 cups water
   
• kosher salt and pepper to taste
   

Fig.2. How the French actually make their version of chili. It isn't generally known, but in old-style French Catholicism, the grinding of beef is actually considered to be a cardinal sin. So there's that.

Other Things You May Want:

• beer, see note below
   
• glutenfree whitecorn chips (i crumble ‘em if they’re not already there)
   
• cheeeeeeese. jack, cheddar, or asiago are all good.
   
• things such as green onions, chives, or sour cream
   

What To Do:

1. Obtain a large stockpot with a top that more or less covers it. Insert your oil and heat it to the point of fragrance.
    
2. Assemble all the things while the oil is heating.
    
3. Put meats into oil and brown.
    
4. Put onions and garlic in and allow them to shimmy and shake, while you
    
5. Cream the miso with a little water and add it.
    
6. add tomato paste and chopped tomato or canned tomatoes (if you’re using those, smush them a little with your stirrer).
    
7. Add all the things, starting with the liquids. ³  except the salt and pepper. you’ll add those at the end.
    
8. Cover the pot mostly and cook all the things slowly together for a long time. stir it every half hour or so.
    
9. When it is bubbling in the pattern usually called borborygmous, which is reminiscent of an agitated swamp mud which is maybe a little on the thin side, taste it with caution. add anything you feel it may lack.
    
10. Allow to cool. if you are providentially wise in the ways of chili-type foods, you’ve made this a day ahead so that it can assimilate and deepen its flavors while it cools its heels in the fridge for 24 hours. if not, you’ll have to hop from foot to foot while you wait for it to cool sufficiently to eat.
    While you’re waiting, do not google “French People Eating Chili.”
     
11. serve it up and top it with any of the things you want. i like a lot of corn chip crumbles and peppercorn smoked cheddar, and some garlic chives.

it’s much simpler than you think and a lot more flexible. you can make a lot or a little and it gets better with age. try not to forget your Beano. your fambly will be doubly grateful. ^_^

also, try not to steal my New Band Name Of The X if you can help it. i kind of love it intensely and probably will for at least the next day or so.

BON APPETIT, BITCHES. let me know how it works out.  <3